Monday 27 August 2007

What price citizenship?

I feeling very inspired today. This morning listen to speech by our Capo for Criminal Affairs Nick "BabyDon" Clegg.

"Friends, the United Territories is a nation of immigrants. We draw our strength through diversity and unity through common decency. So I say give us your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, and let us charge them a reasonable fixed fee for citizenship. No criminals or illiterates, we charge them double."

It great scheme. Anyone who can't pay, come for brief stint of work for the Family in passport-printing works until they pay-off debt. We then get chance to identify anyone with real respect in their community to target for bringing into our wiseguy-diversity programme.

Conservatoris are grumpy about proposal. The "Grey Enforcer" Capo Davis say:

"This proposal will act as a green flag to every immigrant of insufficient means to afford our protection payments. A one-off charge might be appealing, but consider the damage to our long-term earning potential. My criminal innovation review unit is currently considering a much better scheme to sell passports on eBay to the highest bidder and renew them every five years. These will act as a valuable supplement to our labour holding camps for the low-paid. We believe this is the compassionate way forward."

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